Rorschach-test

rorscharch-2

“There is something special about having a vampire for a lover”, Liz said to her one true love with a sigh.
Lina, her arms around Liz’s waist, stiffened and then frowned, “Vampire?  Where did the vampire part come in?”
“I was meaning to tell you..   Nadja.. she.. she is also a vampire. I meant to tell you…”
“You meant to tell me.. but you kinda forgot?”
“I was going to…”
“..But it just slipped your mind?!”
“No.. not really. I was looking for the right moment to break it to you. I thought you might get upset…”
“Upset? ” Lina tasted those words, “I might be upset?! You know why they do what they do?”
“I heard the sermon.”
“It is one thing that I tolerate you exploring yourself with your little encounters, but this is something beyond… beyond exploration and tolerance…It is dangerous.”
Liz suddenly kissed Lina on the mouth, “Oh hush..You’re so sweet in allowing me to have my little adventures.. Like you’re so sweet when you bought this gown for me. It is beautiful..”
Liz stroked the Ivory Maxi gown Lina had bought for her.
“I think black looks better on you.”
“It’s our wedding gown.. can’t have them in black. Black brings bad luck.”
“You deserve a black one..you look awesome in gowns.. Unlike me. Fat behind.” Lina slapped her buttocks.
“Why thank you,” Liz kissed Lina again, “And you are wrong about your behind: it is lovely”
“Hmm..”
“Hold on!”
“Trying to sidetrack me with kissing and flattery won’t work, young lady. I was lecturing you about vampires…. This is a serious game for them, they seduce you, drain you and leave you empty and soulless. So yes.. I am upset!

“It’s just a game, Lina. They do not really suck your blood. It’s just a silly game they play. The blood is not real. Just a computer keeping score.”
“I don’t like those games.  It makes you unsure about peoples intentions. How do you know she isn’t just being nice to you because of the game?”
“She probably is, but she also says I am a great lover…It can be both…”
“Or she might be lying just so you come back.”
“I am sure she isn’t. Not it the way she reacts.. she goes pretty wild. I am still blushing when I think about it.”
“Hmmppff.. So how much blood did this Nadja take already..”
“We have been together twice.. and. well, she really likes to bite..”
“So?”
“It goes with three percent at the time. So I guess we are at… well… the first time she bit me twice, but the first time is actually fifteen so that makes for eighteen the first time. Then the other time she bit me twice.. So that makes six. So it must be like twenty-four?. No wait.. it is twenty-seven.. She bit me three times the second time.”
“I see..my mind is boggling with the calculations.. so three quarters left… What happens when your blood runs out?”
“I understand you can buy new blood.”
“As if people do not create blood by themselves. But hey it’s a game  so you have to buy it, so others can suck it. Neat game.”
“It’s the way the people get paid for creating and maintaining the game..”
“I figure when your blood runs out and you don’t buy new, Nadja suddenly stops being wild..”
“She could buy it for me, I guess. She seems to have money.”
“But if she doesn’t? Are you going to buy it yourself?”
“Can I buy it myself? You know who has the money in our arrangement..” Liz smiled a lovely smile at Lina, “So can I?”
“Can you buy it yourself? What do you think?”
“I think the answer is no. And I would not expect anything less,” Liz smiled broadly and kisses Lina warmly.

“Right, with this vampire business settled, how about shopping for a black gown to go with the white?”
“How about I shop alone so I can surprise you?”
” Surprise me? That sounds like a deal.”
“I need some money to buy one. They are not free, you know..”
“Here you go.. Surprise me, Liz.” Lina pulled Liz against her then kissed Liz in her neck.
Liz reached up her neck where Lina had kissed her, still  moist with Lina’s kiss, and her fingers touched the still sensitive bitemarks.
“I am going to.” Liz murmured  dreamily, “I am”.

Bookreview: Magic Bites

Magic Bites (Kate Daniels, #1)Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Who the heck is Kate Daniels?

She is an edgy sarcastic kick-ass babe with a sharp sword named Slayer. A magic sword of course, for a real kick ass girl in a world turned to urban fantasy can’t be without one. Just like she has to be tattooed on a place you can only fantasize about and wear a leather jacket two sizes too large. It would be unseemly otherwise.

Kate is that typical loner that everybody wants, either in bed or as a hired henchman or for lunch or because she is powerful. And thus she can give them the middle-finger and scoff at the powers-that-be without incurring the penalties for doing so. Like being torn apart by the Beast Lord for gross insolence, just to name an example. Not that he isn’t an insolent asshole himself. I fear a love interest. This testosterone filled uber macho just has to play top dog, but you know, deep down inside, he is just a pussy. We are promised a lot but nothing gets delivered.

Kate is not to be had. She is too busy or too independent. Oh, and she doesn’t fit into any of the organisations that beg her services: they all suck one way or another.Loyalty goes to persons.

Get the picture yet?

Now Kate is also twenty five with -say- about a decade of experience in her particular line of work. And an accomplished magic user to. And a experienced sword wielder. And well educated -she speaks her languages-. And has knowledge of a very obscure nature. But there is an explanation for the latter two: it is her father who taught her everything. Her human father that is.

Score one for home education.

You might think that would be enough but Kate is also provided with a mysterious background. Just to entice you to cling to the series.. Who is her real father? No doubt it gets revealed at some point, say in book five of the series. And boy, you will you be dissatisfied.

Granted the book is a nice read. I like the slang Andrews uses or the learn words I never heard about such as expletive. I learned a few new things and hopefully I can use them to my advantage. But the story is in a shambles. At various points it looks like Andrews changed her mind or got stuck and then she pulls a rabbit out of the hat.

When the investigation is dead in the water Andrews lets a vampire attack Kate so she can extract information from it. There.. issue solved. And when it’s going nowhere fast again, lets have the villain turn up so the story can move on. Don’t like the romance? (there is a more virile guy entering the stage) . Right.. lets change the guy’s personality so he loses any wit he has and doesn’t match with Kate at all.

It not just these changes of heart, but it’s the inconsistencies in the story. For instance: Kate is good at her job, but has no money to spend. A feat that goes unexplained.

There is a so called crusader of the order that hunts the villain for four years who is apparently crazy, a loner, and armed to the teeth, but operates secretly, with all that weaponry? . And what is more: somehow this crusader manages to turn up at the right place at the right time two thirds into the story. Almost as an afterthought, for most of the book he never puts in an appearance. A most secretive guy indeed. There is no good explanation for it other then that Andrews wanted him to be there.

And the list goes on and on. Take the wards for instance that the villain uses to break Kate’s ward and then conveniently abandons so she can use it against him later on. Or the fact that the villain apparently lets the crusader live. Or take the scene where Kate sits sipping wine on her porch, while the evil guy and his minions approach. She waits him out and then , when he is about to attack, she jumps inside her house where she is safe from harm, due to aforementioned wards.

Ilona Andrews likes to write scenes, but loses sight on what should connect them: a good story line. This is a cool scene and that is a cool scene. Storyline? Uhm, think of that later.

I can’t resist to compare Kate Daniels to Sonja Blue. Somehow the latter seems more human than the first, even though she is a crazy vampire. Kate is just a bit too good to be believed or connect with.

Does this make it a bad book? Not at all. It is certainly entertaining. Especially when I compare it to a Sci-FI book named Time Travellers never die, which I was reading at the same time.

Magic Bites is certainly not as good as Sunglasses after dark. I would like to give a second book a try, just to see if Andrews does a better job. Unfortunately it might never happen, as my local library doesn’t have it and I rather buy books I really like.

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Xtralife:Unexpected treasure

Sandra landed the Raven, a crate with the pretense of a spaceship, as close to the space wreck as she deemed safe. A feeble automated distress signal had brought it to her attention. When she went out to investigate, she was surprised to see there was someone alive, because a shadow disconnected itself from the mangled overgrown rusty shape and turned into a burly in man dressed in rags aiming a plasma rifle at her.

Sandra had no weapons on her, because she hated guns and relied on her luck to get out of sticky situations. Someone once told her that relying on luck was silly, but she had replied  that luck had gained her more than guns. And those who knew her well, like Eve, had to admit that it was true. Somewhere there had to be whole worlds populated by unlucky people to offset the imbalance.

“And if luck doesn’t help I can rely on my looks.” Sandra added smugly.  Those poor saps were not only unlucky, but they were ugly too. Life really sucks.

“What a tasty morsel you are.” the man said with a gruff voice. “Now let’s get of this planet..”

After the Raven had entered space, the man leaned close to Sandra, who was sitting behind the controls of the ship. When he got that close he noticed red lights on one of displays..

“What are those lights?” He pointed.

“That is life support.”

“Life support?”

“Yes, we removed most of it to make room for more essential things.” Sandra said in a deadpan manner.

“More essential things?”

“Yeah. We didn’t remove everything, of course. Like that one.” Sandra pressed a button and something started to hiss.

“What is that?”

“Let me see..” Sandra stood up, making such movements that he could not help but watch her and then she bent over the console so the shape of her body was silhouetted against the lights of the screens. She then looked over her shoulder and gave him one of her smiles, while holding up a package of cigarettes, “Mind if I smoke?”

The man started to turn pale and breathe loudly. He then grabbed at her. For a few moments they struggled and then he fell to the ground.

Sandra examined him thoughtfully for a few minutes and then gave him a vicious kick. When he didn’t react she pressed the button again to stop the hissing sound. Absentmindedly she grabbed one of her smokes and tried lighten it, but the lighter did not produce a flame.

“That sucks.” She wanted to say, but while her mouth made the movements, there was no sound..

She then went over to the communications console and typed a short message to Eve which said: Yeah, let’s keep the oxygen unit, it has it’s uses.  Oh btw, I got a guest for dinner.” And she snickered an inaudible fanged laugh. She was sooo funny.

.

Bleh man

This flash story requires a bit of a background and explanation. One is that it is written because I heard about a row between Denmark and Sweden over a shows in which naked people were discussed. I sort of fantasized about it.The other is that I am sneaky introducing two characters from my vampire stories. 

The couple was still dressed when they entered, as this was demanded for the show.

“Fine specimen.” said the girl with the broad grin and brown curly hair.

Her companion jury member, a young blond woman wearing dark sunglasses, smiled at this remark and said,”Lets see more.”

The women gave directions and gradually the couple undressed. The jurors then commented on the revealed parts and giggled a lot.

“Ladies, It is time to make a choice.”  the showhost remarked at some point.

The two women then had a momentary private conversation, tossed a coin and then the blond girl said,”We like them both, but she takes the boy and I take the girl.”

Then the blond guided the woman off stage and the brown haired girl did the same with the man. The infrared cameras then showed how the brown girl became a ten feet werewolf and ripped the man apart, while the blond girl bared her needle-sharp fangs and ravaged the girl.

Afterwards the jury members retook their seats..

“This show is great!. We found our species don’t need to hate each other: we can share.” they said in unison. The showhost laughed heartily at that and fantasized about the rising rates.