Henry & Kristl discuss Company of Heroes

“So what did you like about the movie?” Kristl  asked before popping a handful popcorn into her mouth.

“That it shot to pieces a lot of Germans, err. make that Nazis.” Henry said, looking away from Kristl .

“So shooting a lot of Germans is entertaining?” She sniffed.

“I mean Nazis. Because they were bad dudes those Nazis. SS and all.”

“How you know they were Nazis? I mean what was that bad head dude wearing actually? Let’s have a look at his picture: he is wearing what looks like a Luftwaffe peaked cap, a Wehrmacht collar and is in command of what might be SS troops taken from the eagle sign on their arms. What does that make him, an SS Luftmacht or Wehrwaffe officer?”

“They are Nazis. Who cares!” Henry cut her short.

“I hope you found it entertaining.” Kristl  smiled peacefully.

“It is entertaining! A group of GI’s gets separated from the others during the early stages of the Battle of the Bulge and travel deep into Germany to Stuttgart, all the while chased by mean SS stooges, where they prevent the bad Germans from using a super bomb. How more entertaining can it get!?”

“Helped by the stray Englishman and Russian.. oh wait.. make that a Pole, not a Russian.”

“Yes, those are in there too!”

“Like it the real war. There were some others in that one too.” Kristl  added deviously.

“Exact.” Henry nodded enthusiastically.

“So what is it like? Saving Private Ryan? Inglorious Bastards? Kelly’s Heroes?”

“Ehhh.. well they act serious like in Saving Private Ryan but the plot is a bit like Inglorious Bastards but without the actors, a developed plot and interesting dialog. And the Germans are as Germans are in most movies, except I liked that Hans Landa chap who played that bad German officer in Inglorious Bastards. There isn’t someone like him in this one, though, but there is a lot of shooting, which is kind of fun.”

“A lot of shooting…” Kristl chewed on those words.

“I did find it a bit strange our boys were not wearing overcoats in the winter. And they never seem to reload. And they did most of their shooting standing up. And it’s funny they can talk English all the time without being spotted by the Germans around them. And the Germans didn’t quit look like that.. except for the helmet perhaps. Although they had them probably whitewashed in the winter. And they did not have those high boots and those darkish gray uniforms. And they seldom lined up for a firefight.”

“I bet you also laughed at the lousy German?”Kristl  queried.

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t know any German.” Henry shook his head.

“I bet you don’t. Living on that big island away from the rest of the world makes you a bit myopic doesn’t it? I bet you don’t even know where Stuttgart is. I mean Stuttgart in Germany, not Stuttgart in Arkansas.”

“Why should it matter where Stuttgart in Germany is?”

“You are right.. it doesn’t. Although it might have been as it says it’s based on real events. I wished that one day someone will make a movie with real American people and not those fake one’s you see in these movies who are just as fake and cardboard like as their adversaries, so that the rest of the world might at least feel that we all belong to the same species and homo sapiens is not split into homo unitedstatus and homo shootemupus.”

“But this isn’t a movie like that. It’s just mindless fun.”

“Yes, it is mindless fun, but it is also an expression of a culture and in turn it intensifies that same culture. It partly explains why some American soldiers still think they can Gung Ho into another country shooting up everything without regard because they see themselves as a company of heroes and the others as targets unless they wear skirts and have boobs: than the others are exotic love interests.”

“Geez, ease up, it’s just a movie.”

“Yes.It’s just a movie. A sad dime in a dozen movie. I wished we had seen the last of them.”

Henry walked out in a sour mood to get a beer in a downtown bar and for once he did not care which one. After he left Kristl  slid in a blue-ray into the DVD player. The sounds of Zither wafted into the room and she sat back to enjoy the Third Man.. one of her favorite postwar movies.


Henry & Kristl talk about the movie Underworld:Awakening

“You know I hesitate to say it, but Kate Beckinsale is a really cool chick. I mean I wished she jumped right into my bed, even with those heavy boots and that figure hugging suit. Lucky she found them back after she was blown to smithereens and revived in that laboratory. Although she would have been naked without them. Oh god I could device so ways to relieve them of her.” Henry grinned. He twirled the DVD of the movie in his left hand.

“I thought we were going to keep this pg rated?” Kristl  quipped. She knocked the DVD out of his hand and send it flying.

“She just looks jummy in that suit, even after all these years.. I wished I could have…. Awww.” Henry groaned loudly because Kristl  had just booted him in the shin.

“You like them boots?” Kristl grinned evilly, pointing at her worn combat boots. The kind that were cool in the eighties.

“Gosh, that hurts.” Henry rubbed his leg.

“Pity they left out that cute guy.. what was his name?”

“Scott Speedman?”

“That one! That one vampire guy hasn’t much of role. Nor that black police dude. And that kid. I really don’t like kids in action movies. This one can’t quite decide to be a hostage or some kind of remake from a Japanese horror movie. If you have to have kids in a movie, make them quiet and don’t turn them into monsters!”

“Without the kid there would be no reason for Kate to go and shoot up everyone. And how she kills: she jumps and somersaults all over the place. And some moments are really cool. Like that elevator scene where she blasts a hole in the bottom of the elevator so as not to be swatted by it when it rushes down. That one is priceless. Look how sexy she looks in that scene.”

“I wished Stephen Rea had a better part in it. I liked him in V for Vendetta, but here he seems a bit lost. And him turning into a what? A werewolf hit by baldness?” Kristl  mused.

“He did look a bit out of place. But overall I think it’s a fun movie with lot’s of shooting and action and Kate Beckinsale jumping around killing hordes of people and Lycans.”

“I think the werewolves -Lycans – are getting a bit threadbare. I wonder how long they keep on being interesting. ”

“Well, they did add that huge one. It was evil how he tossed those cars about and hunted Kate down. That part where he corners her in a booth is funny. Grawww.” Henry snarled loudly, making Kristl  jump.

“It’s not actually not Kate, but Selene.” Kristl corrected, “Kate Beckinsale is the actress, Selene is the name of the heroine.”

“I don’t think it really matters. She might as well be Kate. Without her it would be a boring mindless slaughterfest.”

“You really like her that much, Henry?”

“I sure do. I am going to start a campaign with the express purpose to get Kate to do all the next underworld movies wearing a tight PVC suit and boots, but with a wider range of guns and weapons.”

“Did you say you were going to wear a tight PVC suit?! That I want to see.”

“Very funny, Kristl .”

“I wouldn’t be surprised you get your wish fulfilled. Although the next director might be called Uwe Boll.”

“Uwe who?”

“Uwe Boll. I think he is considered the worst director currently alive.”

“Well.. it doesn’t really matter who directs it as long as Kate is in it wearing a tight suit killing lots and lots of Lycans in various ways.” Henry shouted happily.

“And to hell with the story and the directing..”Kristl  whispered.