“Why don’t we shave your head?” Kristl asked Henry while she made a shaving gesture with her hands.
“What?” Henry backed away from her.
“Bald man are hot these days!”
“You mean bald ugly men.” Henry gave Kristl a look of revulsion.
“At least he got to do the girl in the cave.” Kristl smiled.
“What has gotten into you! You on too much testosterone pills these days or what?”
“Just saying…”
“Just say it someplace else. Or inaudible.”
“Alright. Just you know.. I thought that you.., being a man.., would have liked to..”
“Do you think I stand a better chance when I am bald?”
“And surrounded by flesh eating zombies (are there any other kind?)”
“Ah.”
“And in a cave.”
“Right.”
“Cause that is what got them all hot and bothered in the movie.”
“Right.”
“After you see all your fellow knights being shredded by zombies or turn into them and you end up with the only woman in the story your thoughts automatically turn to sex the moment you are alone with her in a cave. Just the right aphrodisiac: zombies and caves.”
“Enough! Let’s get discuss the other parts of the movie. Like the cinematography. Did you like the way they shot it and the color scheme?”
“I liked the landscapes. There were some pretty great sights, but they bled the colors from the scenes too much if you ask me. Grey can be strong mood making color. But all the time? I would have added some colors just for diversity. Like sometimes a colorful plant in a grey landscape can have a strong surreal effect.”
“Yeah.. I liked the sights too. Also I liked the companions of the main guy. like that axe wielding guy. He looks interesting. And the introductory part of the movie is captivating. What would you call it? An animation?” Henry said.
“It was more like stills, but that part made it interesting for me to.”
“You know what is odd.. I didn’t know it was about zombies. It had this moment of insight when I read the title: knight of the dead. I thought. ‘of the dead’, that is the way those zombie movies are called.”
“I had not thought of it either. I thought it was more about plague victims being scary. Like the first girl they meet. She is a plague victim, I thought, and they had to put her down because she went crazy because of the illness.”
“In hindsight. Would you have watched it if you had known?” Henry asked Kristl.
“I am not sure. There are too many zombie movies around. They get a bit lame. And a zombie movie set in the middle ages with knights could provide a new angle if properly handled, but to be honest, there is not much of anything special in this movie and as a zombie flick it lacks the horror and tension to keep it interesting. It is more like a group of knight wander aimlessly through a grey landscape for no apparent reason and get assaulted by very slow moving zombies and some guys that have a pick on them.” Kristl said.
“Yeah.”
“Which brings us to the story and those other people chasing the knights. I really had no idea what it was about or why they chased those knights. In fact, I got the feeling they did not even know themselves.”
“What I found strange is that they kept on fighting each other after they were fully aware that they were being chased and surrounded by zombies. I do not know about you, but I would rather work together to get out than fight you.” Henry said.
“It is a bit of a missed opportunity perhaps? They could have put together a group of unlikely people who have to get together to get out alive. Then the tension in the group between the people could be a factor. ”
“Yeah.. but nothing of that.”
“So, to wrap things up, what did we like about it?” Henry asked.
“I would say the landscapes and imagery. And some of the fighters looked cool. Even some of the fights were ok.”
“And the bald guy had a nice smile.” Kristl admitted.
“Oh. having cave feelings?”
“You mean, smiling in a cave?”
“Uhuh.” Henry nodded his head, “Sounds like the title of song.”
“Maybe one day..”
“See.”
“When surrounded by zombies… then… who knows.. I can force myself to smile.” Kristl smiled.
And Henry smiled to.
Pictures taken from the movie in their original color scheme.
Merit Coba 
Leave a Reply