Silly laws 1: moose

Alaskan laws:

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane

“Hey!”

Raine grabbed the side of her chair.  She made a sudden sideway motion, then felt herself  drop a dozen feet.  Her stomach followed a bit too late with the rest of her body. She felt nauseated.

There was a loud bleating from the back of the plane mixed with some shouts from the other passengers.

Raine worked her way toward the flightdeck, assisted by a sudden nosedive of the plane. She fell against the door, smashing her nose. Then the plane pulled up she almost fell backwards again, but she grabbed the door handle, thus opening the door. There was red on the handle.

“What the hell is wrong.” Raine shouted through the high pitch sound of an engine. There were lamps flashing on the panels.

“We lost one engine.”  Latimer, their pilot said with clenched teeth. He was fighting the yoke as if he I he was in a bullfight.

“We’re crashing?”

“Nah. The ride is just a bit more bumpy.” Latimer grunted. “It can fly one one engine.”

“Planning on an emergency landing?”

“We got nowhere to put her down here, “  he pointed towards the mountains, trees and water, “ And if we hit something at this speed, we will be torn to shreds. Need to lose some weight!”

“You mean as in throwing something of the plane?”

“Yeah.”

“Mervin!” Raine roared.

“Here!” Came from the back.

“One of the engines has had it. We need to lighten this thing.. Anything we can get rid off?”

“Let me, see.. We got the combat gear.”

“We need those and that is expensive stuff. Something else?”

“We got these crates of beer. Two of them” Mervin said. His voice suggested he was not thrilled at the idea of losing the beer.

“The crates?” Raine said to the pilot, “ Five of them, that would be around 60 pounds I guess.”

“We need lose more.”

“There is the moose.”  Mervin shouted, “It is big.”

“The moose?” Raine and Latimer eyed each other.

“Yeah… we could.. well. We could push it from the plane.”

“You’re mad. The poor thing.” Raine said, “ Can’t we crash the plane in the river?”

“I can’t say what will happen when I do.” Latimer said.”But I figure if we drop the moose into a river it will be ok. The water will break it’s fall. There is the Nowita River coming up.” He pointed forward.

Raine cursed.”We get rid of the moose then. Say when.”

She struggled through the plane to the cargo hold. She and Mervin then buckled up their safety cords and opened the back of the plane.  They saw fir trees rushing past underneath them. The moose moaned loudly.

They removed the gate of the cage holding the moose and started to pull the animal backward towards the exit. The moose had enlarged eyes that shifted rapidly. It  braced itself and it refused to budge.

“Dammit. Can you pull up so it drops out?” Raine shouted. Underneath her she could see the river appear.

“I could give it a slight boost. But the engine will overheat!”

The plane suddenly pulled up, but the moose had locked itself tight in the cage.

“We need make it let go.”  Raine said.

“Maybe we can drop it with the cage.” Mervin mused

“It would drown.”

“Hmm..” Mervin said and looked at the crates. “We could start with losing the crates. Pitty, II could use a beer. Sometimes gives you good ideas.”

“That is it.”  Raine said, “Grab some bottles.”

Mervin got her some beer.

Raine removed the cap of one beer by using the other one and then pushed it into the mouth of the moose. The frightened animal first refused to drink, but then it started to drink.

Mervin grinned..

“Get more.” Raine said.

It took both crates before the animal let go. It waddled towards the open bay door. Then the  pilot shouted a warnin. The planes engine suddenly roared loudly and the plane pulled up. Mervin grabbed something, but Raine dropped together with the moose from the plane. Her safety line  arrested her fall. Dangling underneath the plane she saw the truss bridge  that had forced the pilot pull up the plane, a small village  and the moose arcing towards the bridge. It missed the bridge and plunged into the river. The shockwave caused a group of canoes to topple over and spill the paddlers and the contents into the river. Despite her precarious position Raine could not help but laugh at the ludicrous sight.

After Mervin had pulled her in, the plane labored it’s way towards the nearest airport.

There they were arrested.

“What for?? Nobody was harmed.” Raine excalimed.

“Yeah.. we had to do it.” Latimer said, “Otherwise we would have crashed.”

“That moose of yours. You know what it did?”

They shook their heads.

“It swam ashore, then lumbered into the village, wrecking property, broke into the local store, ravaged the interior before falling asleep. There are reasons we have laws against feeding mooses alcohol!” The policeman growled.

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