Henry and Kristl felt equal after seeing G.I.Jane

“I am wrong.” Henry said.

Henry and Kristl were sitting on a couch in their garage turned Cinema. The garage was not the kind that comes with a house, with small windows and just one way to get in from the outside. Actually it was a workshop with large windows and no less than three sliding doors that was part of a petrol station. This petrol station had been abandoned some years ago. They, Henry and Kristl, could rent it for an agreeable price, because  the ground was polluted by oil and other fluids associated with cars that had spilled onto the floor and fouled the soil underneath. Unless the ground was cleaned, the place could not be used to live in nor for commercial purposes.

“We could make it into a public restroom.”  Henry had said.

“We were going to make it into a private cinema?”  Kristl answered.

“We could make some money on the side to cover our expenses.” Henry said.

“And who is going to clean this restroom?” Kristl‘s gaze made Henry think of a snake about to strike.

“We could make it automatic, perhaps. ” Henry sweated a bit and felt like he had just discovered he was walking in a minefield.

“A Henry O’Matic.”  Kristl said with a flat voice..


“Just wrong. A fool. A romantic fool. “ Henry continued, “That is why I never get any girl friends.”

“But I am your friend?” Kristl said.

“Yes, but I don’t mean a friend friend, but a girl friend friend.”


“A fool like me would do something like this.” Henry produced out of nowhere a small white round dish on which was placed a chocolate éclair with dark chocolate of such fine color that it made Kristl’s mouth water. Next to it was a fine silver spoon, that shone green in the light of the exit sign.

Kristl was staring transfixed at the chocolate éclair.

“You see.. I would have the notion that you give this to someone you like and that she, the she being you in this case, would like me for it. Just to be nice.”

“Who do you want to have killed for that?” Kristl licked her lips.

“I don’t want anything for it, you just get it for free because you are my friend. Not a girl friend kinda friend, but a friend friend.”

“Gracias.” Kristl took hold of the dish with a slightly trembling hand.

“But I am a fool really, because  women want to be tough cookies that like to be trounced so you get respect from them and you get trounced by them so they respect you.. And then the greatest praise you can get from them is: ‘suck my dick.’”

Kristl was eyeing her éclair in a way that clearly showed she had not yet made up her mind to swallow it whole or eat it in small bits. She decided on the latter.

“I  am overjoyed that US finest troops are in reality dumb gung ho halfwits that are trained to a sharp killer edge by humiliation and torture. Guess that makes a good soldier.”

“Suck my dick?” Henry said, “What does that mean?”

“Well, she wants to be man really, so that guy can suck hers or his. I am getting a bit confused.”

“I was a bit embarrassed when that one guy walks up to her and stammers ‘yuuuu aaare okaj’ to her like he was lurch from the Addams Family. I thought well, Seals, aren’t they the finest of our men? Somehow Lurch doesn’t quite fit in with that picture..”

“It actually makes me happy. Would be scary to think they were serious experienced intelligent men with a professional attitude. They could be effective and deadly..brr.  “ Kristl said and continued, “I was a bit annoyed when it was suggested it was bad that she might be  a lesbian. OH MY GOD SHE IS A LESBIAN. We have to put up with blacks, women, gays and now with lesbians. So what does that say: you can be a woman in the army but not when you are a  lesbian?.”

“Imagine being a black lesbian.”  Henry laughed. “But how do you feel about the whole movie?”

“I have to say it was an exceptionally run-of-the-mill movie. I didn’t like any of the people in it. They were an amalgam of faces in dark surroundings. Then the movie used all the cliches. The politicians who can’t be trusted and sell you out if it suits their fancy. The lone hero Jane who, having no experience whatsoever in politics, manipulates that woman, with decades of experience in politics. The cigar crunching commander with the I-don’t-like-politics attitude. The drill sergeant who is tough on her but finally grudgingly starts to respect her. The boys who first look down on her and then become her buddies.”

“Yes, but I think that was all you could do with the story.” Henry nodded,

“G. I. Jane has proven that us women can be beaten, humiliated and badly treated as any other man in the army. But isn’t this sad? How great is it that such fine intelligent people are wasting their lives on something so utterly needless as the act of waging war? There are people who can contribute something of value to the progress of humanity, but the only thing they learn is ‘how to blow shit up.. The movie is a hallmark of utter waste: now we women can be as useless as any men because we have equal access to all the branches of the army.”

“Hurrah for equality.” Henry said.

“Any more of those éclairs?”  Kristl smiled.

“A whole box of them.” Henry winked and then grinned, as he showed her the box,“Come and get them.”

After chasing Henry for five minutes around the couch, Henry gave in and handed her the box.

“All for equality.” Henry said.

“Jummy.” Said Kristl.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: