“What have we here?”, Harley said in that special way she had heard policemen say it(on real life television mostly) and that seemed to underscore that they were policemen and you were definitely not.
Harley was almost too young and too pretty to be a security guard and normally she would not have been accepted for the job, but she had convinced her employers to give her a try. For her first assignment they had hid her alluring features by dressing her up in a dark security outfit that was a bit too large. The result was a look that was slightly more comical than impressive.
To be on the safe side they also had teamed her with sergeant Cubbins, an old hand with thirty years of excellent service. He was the epitome of the security guards as was shown by him having a mustache( and thus renouncing all fashion styles) and the fact that everyone called him sergeant even though such a rank did not exist in the private security company Safe and Secure.
“I am Batman and I am fighting for justice.” Batman said from his elevated position at the top of the stairs. He had cuffed himself to the doors of the courtroom.
“Whose justice is that?” Harley remarked and heard Cubbins groan behind her. She had just broke rule number four: thou shalt not make jokes. She already had broken rules one, two and three implicitly as she was too pretty, too young and mustache-less. The proper response should have been: what justice might that be, sir?
Batman had paused for a moment to realign his thoughts and then said. “I am fighting against a fatherless society and for the equality of men and boys.”
“Great. I am for equality of men too.” Harley said with a happy grin. She had just broken rules number five and six: don’t fraternize and don’t laugh.
“Then why don’t you join our cause, come up here and get cuffed to?” Batman said in an attempt to outmaneuver Harley and gain back the normal flow of conversation: which was that people were berating him instead of agreeing with him.
“I will, B-man, I will, But first I have to do something else.. I am back in five. No. Ten..” Harley said holding up one spread out hand, then two, “Just think of it as a commercial break!.” She ran off, thus breaking rule number seven: never leave the scene without the situation being resolved.
Normally Cubbins would have intervened at this point, but curiosity got the better of him in his old days. So Batman and him waited for an uneasy period that seemed to last quite long, while a crowd of spectators gathered. Handhelds and camera’s were lifted above heads and flashed.
A camera crew was unloading their equipment. A reporter was making his way towards them. A group of Asian tourists were waving at them: “Hiii, Batman.”
Fifteen minutes later Harley returned and somehow a path opened up through the crowd. “Tadaaa!” Harley shouted when she was with them and she opened her arms wide in a dramatic manner.
“At what exactly?” Batman said. She looked just like she had looked fifteen minutes before.
“I knew you were going to say that.” Harley grinned brightly and she grabbed the front of her jacket and pulled the zipper down, thus breaking rule number ten: thou shalt not undress(actually it said: thou shalt wear the correct uniform in a correct manner all the time.)
She stripped of all her clothes to the mirth of the crowd, that kept swelling in numbers. A helicopter was batting the air above them and a few policemen had arrived and were watching the scene from a distance with amused expressions on their faces. Cubbins face had reddened and he gurgled.
“Tadaa” Harley said again as she sprang up completely dressed in a skin tight black PVC outfit, “Who am I?” And she pulled a mask with feline features over her head and then growled.
“Catwoman!” Exclaimed Batman and the crowd in unison.
“Meow!” Harley said and made catlike gestures..
The two superheroes started an animated conversation sometimes interrupted by the someone asking them for an autograph or to pose for a picture. The reported tried to interview them, but they mostly ignored him. Cubbins had left the scene, leaving it to the authorities to deal with the situation. Which they didn’t as it was too amusing.
When it started to rain Batman suggested to Catwoman that they would continue their conversation over dinner.
“Good idea… Provided it’s not cat food.” Harley said,”There is so much a superhero can stomach.”
Batman smiled, uncuffed himself, and took her to a Chinese restaurant at the other end of the street.The restaurant owner had seen them already on television and gave them a prominent place near the window. The place was packed in no time.
“Look at all the pretties. Free drinks and food! Nice company. I like it. More. More.” Haley said with a laugh.
“You know, ever since Catwoman was played by Halle Berry I can’t quite see her as Caucasian.” Batman confessed.
“Well, I don’t actually like to be Catwoman, but it was the outfit they had in the store. Besides, I don’t think Batty would like my preferred superbeing.””
“And who is that?”
“Uhmmm.. Let me see. A riddle! Here is the riddle: what is in a name?”
“Hmm.. Harley is your name, isn’t it?”
“Smart Batty!” Harley patted Batman on the arm..
“So I guess it would be Harley Quinn?”
“Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!”
“Pity, I am not much of a Mister J.”
“I guess you wouldn’t be, B-man, with you being cuffed to them doors.” Harley said, “You so.. se-ri-ous.”
“And I also lack in the sociopath homicidal department.” Batman added and he thought of a certain situation where those traits could have come in handy.
“Now THIS is funny, Mistah J! Battsy made a joke!” Harley said cheerfully.
He smiled.
“So, now for the serious question. I always wanted to know!” Harley said and continued:
“ Is..” She lingered.
“..Batman.” She paused.
“..GAY?” She ended with a loud voice.
“Of course not. Batman has a son!”
“Whatcha that proof? Nuthing.”
”Then trust me. He isn’t.”
“I knew it! She shoots, she scores!”
“You really going for the Harley Quinn thing.”
“Call me Harley, everyone does.” Harley nodded and offered him a hand.
Batman laughed and shook hers, “I do think you lost your job back there.”
“You betcha. They didn’t like my pepperoni on their steaks. So I have find myself a new whipper! I think I try to become a truck driver next. I like to handle big things that are unstoppable.”
Batman sighed and wondered if a superhero could be joined by a supervillain in a fight for justice and still be believable.
Harley looked in his eyes and then said, “Oh the irony! The grim stalwart Dark Knight and his greatest female adversary, fightin together to save the city!”

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