Henry saw Heavy Metal(2000) but Kristl..

The movie had ended. For a few minutes Henry stared at the blank screen

before he became aware of a buzzing noise. The garage-turned-movie-

theater would have been dead silent but for that sound. He looked at

the overhead beamer, but it did not make the sound. He turned his head

from one side to the other to locate the source until he saw Kristl at

the other end of their couch. She was hanging a bit to the side with

her eyes closed. Her relaxed expression and slightly open mouth made

her look peaceful.

‘Look at her.. She has fallen asleep.’ Henry thought.


Kristl was dressed in a dark grey sweater, blue faded jeans and

combat boots. Henry tried to imagine her being dressed up like this

Julie character from the movie; in ripped clothes with some metal

plates, adorned with stakes as armor waving a wicked shaped sword. He

imagined her having a wasp like waist and large dangling boobs, with

big nipples and wide hips. He failed to get that picture right.


Getting the picture right was also something he failed to do with this movie

too. It started with this supposed-to-be sexy woman living in

insignificant colony on an off-beat planet who somehow got to be an

expert in guns, lasers, hand weapons, spaceships and whatnot. He liked

sexy women like Selene from Underworld, but her fighting skills seem to

fit with her: she was a vampire death dealer after all.. How the heck

Julie got them went unexplained. But it would not have mattered if it

had been tongue-in-cheek like or over the top or somehow funny. But the

movie tried to be deadly serious, where cheekiness could have saved it.


And then this bad guy. An unknown miner finds a key that gives access

to the waters of eternal youth or something and turns him into an evil

dude with fighting skills that would put Rambo to shame.It even gives

him the dual guns he needs to take over the miner ship. And it even

gives him the knowledge to find traces of water of eternal live in

space and the route to the planet holding the waters. And it also gives

him an army of ruthless obedient fighters. It even.. the list goes on

and on.


If the animation had been stylish. If the music had been

tolerable and well placed.. If the characters had somehow be believable

or endearing. If the plot had been better. If the adult content had not

been so rubbed into your face. If.. If.. If.


It was perhaps lucky that

Kristl had fallen asleep. Her sleep was perhaps the best comment to

this movie she could give.


Yet there was something strange. The snoring

sound.. He never knew Kristl to snore, nor had he ever heard Kristl snore.


He turned to look at Kristl.


The sound did not come from her side of the couch.


He looked in to the screen of the computer that controlled the overhead beamer.


He saw himself being reflected.


He was sleeping.


The snoring came from him.


2 responses to “Henry saw Heavy Metal(2000) but Kristl..”

  1. And that is amazing… 😀

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